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Oct. 11th, 2008

I am so tired right now, but I refuse to go to bed early on a Friday night. Even knowing that I work tomorrow morning and I'm not doing anything more exciting than laying on the sofa on my pjs.
I am working a lot, but that's not the only reason why I'm so exhausted. I'm the kind of person who believes in energy (good and bad) and right now my energy is being consumed intensively by someone I've fallen in love with.
My love doesn't have a name because she was never registered. I call her Juju because that's similar to what everyone calls her at the hospital: RN de Jucileia (RN is the abbreviation for new born in Portuguese). Juju is a 5 month baby girl who was abandoned by her prostitute/drug addicted mother at the hospital. She is a 27th week premature who had all the complications that this gestational age could give. She never left the hospital since her birth. Despite of that Juju is the cutest baby in the world and I'm so in love with her that I sigh just thinking of her.
Juju has being my patient for two weeks now but I don't treat her as a patient anymore. Every day during rounds I describe Juju's exam to my attendant, but I'm just lying, I don't examine her anymore because she's perfectly healthy and is just waiting to be sent to an institution. My time with Juju is dedicated to other things than to listen to her heart beat. I get her in my arms, take her to the hospital balcony, show her the blue sky, the noisy street, make her feel the cool wind on her face. I sing to her. I had never used my cell camera before and now the memory is full of pictures of her. Juju was such a serious baby, cried all the time, with reason. Now she has the most beautiful smile. She smiles all the time and she hates when I have to leave to see my other patients. I hate it too.
I don't have the time or money to adopt Juju so it kills me this feeling of weakness, of being unable to give what this baby deserves. Her discharge from the hospital depends only on my decision but I already ran out of excuses for keeping her in the hospital. I don't want to send her away to this horrible world where I don't know if someone will sing to her.
I'm visiting the institution this weekend to see what they offer and what can I do to help. We already started a campaign among the medical students to find a family willing to adopt her. Until then I wish she could stay.
It's horrible when the injustice and misery you see on tv comes knocking on your door. It's much easier not to care.
Talking about things that are making me sad... It hurt today going into the Burrow after so long and realizing that Boe wasn't there anymore. I miss her so much. I went to Istanbul last month and thought of her at the Spice bazaar when I was buying ten different types of tea.

Silly, random things

I can't remember the last time I wrote the term *huggles*. I just posted at Immy - another thing I hadn't done in a very long time - and it felt so weird writing it, *huggles*, like it was something forgotten in the past, but still natural at the same time. Like riding a bicycle after a very long time and feeling surprise you still know how to do it.
Ha! I missed writing in English!
I haven't written a lot but that doesn't mean I haven't been reading. I know I usually don't comment every post but I swear I was around "listening" to what my flist had to say and thinking about you all.
I need to go. I'm working tomorrow, it's already 11pm and I still need to type two discharge reports before going to bed. *sigh* I'll tell you later about my theory that all pediatricians have obsessive-compulsive disorders. You won't believe the size of the reports I have to write everytime I discharge a patient. Total nuts. Anyway, better get started.
*huggles*
*is amused again*
*lol*
Bye!

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Movie + make up

Today was a lovely day. 
It started waking up at noon *blushes*, having lunch with mom and dad and then running to take a "How to do your make-up" course given by a cosmetic company for their customers. Four hours doing nothing but make up. Ah! I felt like a celebrity! 
I’m not bad on doing my own make up but as is always nice to learn some new tricks I decided to take this course. I learned how to make a tan skin tone, some tricks with the eye liner and how to blend eye shadows (I needed that one). I ended choosing a very dark mix of eye-shadows for my make up which gave me kind of a Bellatrix Black look. Not really my style -I’m more Luna- and definitely not something to wear at 5pm at the mall. But it may work for a club night so I shall try it again in a more proper occasion.
I forgot my keys at home so when finished I still had to wait 3 more hours to meet with my mother. Since I was at the mall, why not watch a movie? Great idea!
It’s been so long since I last went to the movies alone and I think I should consider rescuing this old habit. Not that going to the movies with company isn’t great, but sometimes it happens that no one is available to join me. So why waist the opportunity of seeing a great film because of such a tiny detail?
I saw "Once", an Irish and great movie. It’s so musical, so cute, so romantic and I’m in love with the songs *sighs*. It was filmed on the streets of Dublin. I don’t know this city, but it looked so cute and charming with those crowded streets, shops and singing artists.
Made me wish I was there.
Hope you all had a good day too!

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It´s good to be back

I´m on hollidays. Yes, I know how weird that sounds since I just came back from summer break two months ago. But, in my defense I didn´t choose this anticipated break. The "system" chose it for me. We´re 16 interns and each month one or two are selected to have their month holidays and April was my month. I wasn´t very happy with this since I don´t feel tired enough to need a break and I can imagine how tired I´ll be by November when there will be no vacation on sight. But NOW that I´m enjoying my free time I´m loving it and really don´t care anymore how I´ll feel on the future. Carpe diem! 

So here are my plans for the month with no order of importance:
-renew my driver´s license
-Gyn appointment
-study
-get a sun tan (if it stops raining)
-read some non-medical books
-work out/ play tennis
-go to the movies at least twice a week
-rent lots of movies
-watch lots of movies on cable
-go "dad´s-paying" shopping
-catch up with Immy and lj
-write a letter to a friend I´ve been longing to
-take a patchwork course
-take some crochet lessons with my grandma
-go out with some old friends
-chat
-became a women again (hair cut, manicure, wax, etc)

I think there are some other things I forgot to list but so far this is it. I was also hoping to go to the beach with Rodrigo, but he hurt his knee two weeks ago playing soccer (moron) so that was cut off. My mom promised me an "urban trip" instead, so we might go to Sao Paulo for the weekend.

I have some news to tell but I´ll guess I´ll post them along the month. I´ll have time :-)

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Feb. 15th, 2008

I finally found some time away from everything else (everything else meaning the hospital) to spend in front of my computer. I know today is Friday, but Rodrigo is on call tonight so I’m taking this opportunity to catch up with everything. I’ve already uploaded my holidays’ pics, spent some good time at Immy and just finished reading about 80 posts from my flist. Lj wouldn’t let me finish my update because it stopped showing the “previous 20” button - should I go to archive or memories to read older posts??? I’m happy everyone is well and I loved reading everyone’s news. After all this time I should have some of my own to give you…


I started at the hospital on Feb 1st, but I didn’t work during carnival – instead I’ll be on call during the entire holly week. I’m now at the infectious disease ward and I can’t describe how much I’m enjoying it. Even though we have some really sick kids there, everything seems to work – which is a miracle considering that I work in a public hospital.
The ward is kind of empty right now because we’re out of “chicken pox season”, but there’s still a lot to do. I’ve been busy with a one-year-old boy who’s been really, really sick for the last four weeks and I’m so involved with his story that I even cried this morning because of him. But it was a good cry, don’t worry. I’ve been in charge of him for the last two weeks but on these last days, when I was starting to loose my faith on his chances of beating his disease, he proved me wrong and started to recover last night. I was so happy so almost everyone saw me crying. My attendant came to me and explained how we can never loose our hope on a child as they can always surprise us when it comes to recovery. Now we’re already talking about discharging my little boy!!! 


My carnival was relaxing. We went to Rodrigo’s parents on the countryside and it rained all the time. I ate, I slept, I read and that was all.


About the wedding plans… hmmm… No good news, there are. I’ve been telling my friends lately that until Feb 1st I believed I would adjust residency to my life, but since then I realized actually I’ll have to adjust my life to this residency. My initial plan for a open wedding on June was murdered by the fact that I won’t have my holidays next year during this time. Did I actually think I would be able to CHOOSE my holiday period???? Stupid intern! The other perhaps is that I won’t have time to plan a wedding working 70 hours a week AND living 1000km away from where it’s suppose to be hold. So all I’ll be able to do right now is have some patience and see how long Rodrigo will wait for me… 


Now some fun news: I won a HP contest! And a national one, trés chic! Actually I didn’t win, I took 4th place but I still got prizes: a HP DVD box, a t-shirt, a bag and some bookmarks. The first prize was a trip to England to visit the HBP movie set. But why would I want that anyway? Sirius won’t be on that movie so why do I care? I’m happy with my bookmarks. Here’s the link so you can see my name – just click on the first “confira aqui os vencedores”. I’m so proud of me!!! 


Oh dear, I guess I wrote enough! Hope it won’t be too long until I’m back again!


 *hugs all*

It´s been a long time...

 

I finally found some time away from everything else (everything else meaning the hospital) to spend in front of my computer. I know today is Friday, but Rodrigo is on call tonight so I’m taking this opportunity to catch up with everything. I’ve already uploaded my holidays’ pics, spent some good time at Immy and just finished reading about 80 posts from my flist. Lj wouldn’t let me finish my update because it stopped showing the “previous 20” button - should I go to archive or memories to read older posts??? I’m happy everyone is well and I loved reading everyone’s news. After all this time I should have some of my own to give you…

 

I started at the hospital on Feb 1st, but I didn’t work during carnival – instead I’ll be on call during the entire holly week. I’m now at the infectious disease ward and I can’t describe how much I’m enjoying it. Even though we have some really sick kids there, everything seems to work – which is a miracle considering that I work in a public hospital.

The ward is kind of empty right now because we’re out of “chicken pox season”, but there’s still a lot to do. I’ve been busy with a one-year-old boy who’s been really, really sick for the last four weeks and I’m so involved with his story that I even cried this morning because of him. But it was a good cry, don’t worry. I’ve been in charge of him for the last two weeks but on these last days, when I was starting to loose my faith on his chances of beating his disease, he proved me wrong and started to recover last night. I was so happy so almost everyone saw me crying. My attendant came to me and explained how we can never loose our hope on a child as they can always surprise us when it comes to recovery. Now we’re already talking about discharging my little boy!!!

 

My carnival was relaxing. We went to Rodrigo’s parents on the countryside and it rained all the time. I ate, I slept, I read and that was all.

 

About the wedding plans… hmmm… No good news, there are. I’ve been telling my friends lately that until Feb 1st I believed I would adjust residency to my life, but since then I realized actually I’ll have to adjust my life to this residency. My initial plan for a open wedding on June was murdered by the fact that I won’t have my holidays next year during this time. Did I actually think I would be able to CHOOSE my holiday period???? Stupid intern! The other perhaps is that I won’t have time to plan a wedding working 70 hours a week AND living 1000km away from where it’s suppose to be hold. So all I’ll be able to do right now is have some patience and see how long Rodrigo will wait for me…

 

Now some fun news: I won a HP contest! And a national one, trés chic! Actually I didn’t win, I took 4th place but I still got prizes: a HP DVD box, a t-shirt, a bag and some bookmarks. The first prize was a trip to England to visit the HBP movie set. But why would I want that anyway? Sirius won’t be on that movie so why do I care? I’m happy with my bookmarks. Here’s the link so you can see my name – just click on the first “confira aqui os vencedores”. I’m so proud of me!!!

 

Oh dear, I guess I wrote enough! Hope it won’t be too long until I’m back again!

 

*hugs all*

Jan. 20th, 2008

 I haven’t been here for so long so I believe I have about three pages of flist to catch up. I’ll definitely find time for that, promise.

My biggest news since the last time I posted is that I got engaged!!!

It happened during the New Year’s passage party at my future MIL´s house. My parents were there, so someone made a joke about the perfect moment for an engagement and HE ASKED! I was still laughing about the joke when he did it. I stayed in shock and don’t really remember what happened after. My mom had to tell me all about the beautiful speeches my dad, Rodrigo and his father made after the proposal. I swear I don’t remember anything but I know it was beautiful!

I’m not wearing a ring - it wasn’t planned at all - and I talked to Rodrigo about it so we decided to only exchange rings on our wedding day. In Brazil we don’t use a diamond ring but instead bride and groom wear their plain rings on their right fingers until the wedding, when they change it to their left fingers.

About the date, I’m trying to convince Rodrigo for it to be on June 09. It will be winter and it’s our dry season, so perfect for an open wedding. He’s still not convinced yet, but I may say I’m not that far from accomplishing this mission. 

I’ve been willing to tell you all about this for so long, but I haven’t had much internet time lately. I have some pictures from that night, but I don’t have my camera cable here with me - I’m still at my parent’s house - but as soon I get to home #1 I’ll post them for you!!!

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Old pictures

This is for Beck (

bemkah) as she wanted some pictures from Brazilian beaches. Taken last summer.
Ahhhh! I won´t be having any beach tan this summer. *cries*

Pics

 

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Relax

Me so happy right now! I got a Mika´s cd on Saturday, but only had time to listen to it today. I wanted it because of that song Grace Kelly, but I found out that another song I´m crazy about also was on the cd: Relax. Now it´s non stop on my cd player and the living room was turned into an improvised dance floor. 
"Relax! Take it eeeeaaaasyyyyyy..."
Poor mom who needs to wake up early tomorrow.

Kisses and hugs to everyone who was at the Winter Formal last night (night for me, anyway). I had such a great time!

Super Happy

 I just wanted to share some great news. I got 8.5 in 10 on my CV!!!! Between the top 40 contestants, only four got a better grade than I and there are 16 positions and I'm number 18 and... Oh I already did the math. I'M IN THE SCHOOL HOSPITAL!!!!

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